God is obviously playing games with me because 3/4 of my life was a total joke and I mean it. I always thought by being a cheerful kind of person might make things easier and also forget about all the unhappy things that I've been put through.
But no I was wrong and instead, I feel like a total fool at times.
I can't blame everything on everyone because I allowed others to hurt me by being a pushover, yes that's me.
Often I got scolded for being too naive, stupid and soft hearted when I shouldn't even be to certain people at some point of time.
"Did you not learned your lesson? Why are you still so stupid?!"
Yes, I was being called stupid over and over again because I am not the kind who give up easily, I wanna try harder even when I know it's stupid to do so.
"Why can't you just face the fact that not everything will go the way you expect it to be even if you gave in your all"
Yeah, this is just so me - living in self denial.
Over and over again, every single time I just don't wanna stop giving up hope in everything till the very end even if I am being called stupid, dumb or whatever.
But this time, god gave me a really challenging one.
Sometimes I wanna give up on everything, just cry like a kid, fuck everything, throw all my feelings and unhappy memories away like some rubbish and be an emotionless freak.
Just one day, I'd probably believe and face the fact that not everything can be done with just hoping and trying.
But of course I wouldn't wish for that day to come because that's when I totally lost hope, exhausted mentally and physically.
I always believe in this: "Easier said than done. Try being in that person's shoe and see if you're able to cope."
Because no one experience exactly what the other party did so how does one simply understand the whole story and feel for him/her from the bottom of their heart?
Everyone have their own story to tell and everyone have their own problems I believe but because no matter what, everything happens for a reason even if it's a dumb or fucked up one.
This is life, suck it up.
But no I was wrong and instead, I feel like a total fool at times.
I can't blame everything on everyone because I allowed others to hurt me by being a pushover, yes that's me.
Often I got scolded for being too naive, stupid and soft hearted when I shouldn't even be to certain people at some point of time.
"Did you not learned your lesson? Why are you still so stupid?!"
Yes, I was being called stupid over and over again because I am not the kind who give up easily, I wanna try harder even when I know it's stupid to do so.
"Why can't you just face the fact that not everything will go the way you expect it to be even if you gave in your all"
Yeah, this is just so me - living in self denial.
Over and over again, every single time I just don't wanna stop giving up hope in everything till the very end even if I am being called stupid, dumb or whatever.
But this time, god gave me a really challenging one.
Sometimes I wanna give up on everything, just cry like a kid, fuck everything, throw all my feelings and unhappy memories away like some rubbish and be an emotionless freak.
Just one day, I'd probably believe and face the fact that not everything can be done with just hoping and trying.
But of course I wouldn't wish for that day to come because that's when I totally lost hope, exhausted mentally and physically.
I always believe in this: "Easier said than done. Try being in that person's shoe and see if you're able to cope."
Because no one experience exactly what the other party did so how does one simply understand the whole story and feel for him/her from the bottom of their heart?
Everyone have their own story to tell and everyone have their own problems I believe but because no matter what, everything happens for a reason even if it's a dumb or fucked up one.
This is life, suck it up.
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